TWO! (November Recap)

Happy Happy! 

November was a great month with birthday celebrations for Jared's sister and our Twins. Here are a few snapshots of those good times! 

Love piñatas! Aunt Abby always has the best crafty fun things for parties! 

Balloons balloons everywhere. Seriously I think you could just give 2 year olds balloons and no gifts and they would be happy! :D 

 Cousin Chase sporting the cowboy hat and pantless look! What a cutie pie! 

Look at that form on Joline blowing out those candles! :D 

I think Anders was seriously bummed that his candles were not lit anymore! ;D  

I can hardly believe we have 2 year olds! Here's to the past 2 years with a look back at where we've been and where we are now! 

There were the years of waiting. Just the two of us. Sweet and salty those years of infertility were-how we grew and learned and continue to learn from it today. *Photo by Stacie B Photography

And then this. Ahh I loved every minute. *Photo by Stacie B Photography

Joline Alyse 6lbs 12oz Baby A

Anders James 7lbs 2oz Baby B

So many snuggles! *Photo by Kety Studios

And a little hostility... :D She's a feisty one! 

ONE!! *Photo by Vision of Beauty Photography

Here we are today (well a few months ago now):D *Photo by Vision of Beauty Photography 

Anders is a ball of energy with so many smiles and hugs! His interests today are: 
*Anything to do with music and singing
*Helping daddy with chores outside. This boy could live outside if we allowed it! 
*Loves dipping carrots into salad dressing and eating all kinds of dried fruits for snacks. 
*Driving his bicycle in the basement-practice for summer! 

Joline is sweet and soft spoken. Her interests today are: 
*Coloring, coloring and more coloring!! The girl loves her crayons and paper! 
*Taking walks with Mokka, (our labrador) she loves to watch her run! 
*Playing "Supper" with her kitchen set. We make multiple meals a day! Is it telling that your daughter makes you coffee first? (she knows my love language) :D
*Hummus. She would eat it by the carton full if we let her. 

Fall Recap

We had a fantastic Fall Season around here so this is a recap in pics since we've been having way too much fun to blog this will have to suffice.  We had some beautiful days and were able to have a fun hay rides for the kids! We tried as much as we could to soak up the days knowing that soon they would be (literally) darker and colder
;) and I'm so thankful for all we were able to enjoy them. Soon it's on to snow filled pictures and Turkey Day! The kids and Jared are ready...me??? Maybe! :D

Blessings and much love,
-CW

Leaving The Land of Isolates

If there's one question I've heard a billion times over the past 4 years it's "How are you?" I can tell you that too often I have quickly answered with "good" or "fine", and a smile to satisfy the question and try my best to move on to something outside of my situation. To be sure though, I had not moved on in my head and the answer to that question was not "good" or "fine". 

"I have tried with all my limited endurance to show no signs of my discomfort for the past many months, but I think my disguise has worn thin." Tim Hansel  

When you come to the end of your "disguising" stage of getting through a difficult time you begin to realize the ugliness of what trying to hide has turned into: self-absorption...not a pretty picture. 

"Nothing robs one's strength and vitality so much as self-absorption. There is no greater wast of time than self-pity, preoccupation with self; it fragments and dissipates that which you want to be about. Oh, God, you seem to have the only key that can unlock me from myself." Tim Hansel 

Let me be clear, this type of self-absorption is not the kind that flaunts for the world to see because he or she thinks so highly of oneself; rather, it is an internal battlefield of constant preoccupation with the nearsightedness of one's problems. It is a disgusting overwhelming depression that you want to throw off or spit out.

I had managed to silence the world-even my husband- from the torment I was feeling inside but I was never alone in it. God was walking with me the entire time calling to me through my fog. Reaching out to me through loving people and mostly through His word; thankfully I never stopped reading even when it was hard. I finally had had enough of myself! My ears were ripened by the process of grief and I was listening to what God was saying. Sometimes there has to be a death of something precious to us in order to have freedom; for me, that precious thing was my prideful silence. I knew I needed to come clean about what I had struggled with. I am a  sinner saved by great grace.  

This fall I have spent time forcing myself to be open about dealing with depression. I had to work myself up to it for months this past summer by reading books and scripture and devotionals that brought me through the process of realizing that what I was going through at the height of my depression was essentially the 5 stages of grief (more about what I've been reading HERE). Because the things that have happened in our lives (infertility, IVF, bedrest, postpartum depression, and 2 brain surgeries) happened one on top of the other in a span of about 4 years I had stuffed way down my grief because there wasn't time to process-until this summer.  

I can't tell you the relief I felt the first time I said out loud "I've struggled with depression for sometime and I've been grieving the loss of what I imagined our life would be." It was as if God took a thick layer of dry, dirty, ugly skin off my whole body and soul. Now not only was I admitting the truth to myself and God in private but I was openly telling my husband and family where I've been and how I got out of there. That's what this blog post is all about-sharing with the world that depression and grief are all very normal human reactions to losses of all shapes and sizes and you don't have to go through it alone. The pain of loss is heavy but God's grace in allowing us to feel that loss and draw us closer to Him to see His full love and character is the greatest gift. 

I wouldn't choose to change my path-the one behind me with all that pain or the one ahead of me. Yes, I had to put to death "dreams" along that path but each time I did I've found God filling my life with more than I deserve. 

"The surgery of imprisonment exposed, and perhaps defined, Daniel's attitude to obey God even in life's unexpected disappointments. He was determined not to use his misfortune as an excuse to sin. Daniel didn't allow his imprisoned position to determine his condition or his disposition." Patsy Clairmont  (see link below for background scripture Daniel Chapter 1)

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Daniel 1

Hebrews 12

Blogger's Block...

What can I say? I must have Blogger's Block!

It has been weeks since I have felt the urge to Blog about something significant or moving; not because there has been a lack of those things in my life but on the contrary, it has been Full. 

I have been up to my eyeballs in Scripture, Bible studies, and books these past few weeks and it has been a very long time since I have done digging like this. Digging? You ask. Well, I guess to put it plainly I'm digging for a few things. 

• A deeper understanding of hardships and God's grace in allowing them into our lives to pull us closer to His heart. 
• A study of grief, recovery, and loss: the processes and needed time and self-iniative for healing to occur. 
• Surrender: the Joy found in letting go of our plan.  

I have not reached the end of my study of any one of these topics, and I look forward to digging deeper still. Here are a few things I've been reading (Click the titles for a preview). 

You Gotta Keep Dancin' By: Tim Hansel

This book was one that I initially read in my college PE class because it was required. Honestly, at the time I don't know that I paid too close attention to it because things in my life were pretty peachy. I came back to it because I remembered something from it and I knew I had it on my bookshelf and I'm so glad I saved it! I can recommend this for those hurting, walking with a friend going through a tough time, or those who just want to gain insight into being compassionate and helping those who may need guidance as they walk through difficulties. Tim gives glimpses of his journals as he walked through a very difficult season in his life and the raw material of his heart is so moving and relatable to those who have ever experienced hurt so deep they don't feel like they recognize themselves anymore and his walk towards freedom from grief is refreshing.

Sportin' A 'Tude By: Patsy Clairmont

This is an oldie but a goodie! I was in our old church basement with my small group girls for Youth Group one wednesday night and we meet in the Church's old library which still has a few books left in it so I browsed the titles just to see if anything caught my eye. Then I saw this one and the reason it caught my eye was because I felt like I was carrying around a giant 'Tude about my "situation" with Epilepsy and I thought-Yup I better read that one! I literally laughed my way through each chapter because Patsy is hilarious but not only did I laugh I cried because she was spot on about how we carry ourselves and how it affects those we love. This book is probably more for the female readers but even men could gain from it I'm sure! :D The chapters are quick and not "heavy" but yet they are full of things that will carry you through whatever you're going through and keep your eyes on Christ. 

Getting Your Breath Back After Life Knocks It Out of You By: K.B.H Niles

Niles is the writer of this book in addition to many "Grief Bites" devotionals you can access for free through the YouVersion Bible App. The Website www.griefbites.com has links to the devotionals and a blog. The devotionals have been instrumental in guiding me to scripture related to grief and hardships and how God is at work in and through it all. I have found great joy in spending much time in God's word and talking to Him about the hard things in life and coming to the realization that I am so very grateful for hardships because they bring us to a raw place where, if we allow God, He will come closer and deeper than we have ever understood before and that friendship and trust is indescribable.

I hope you find some joy today, even if it's just for a moment may we be truly grateful and know that every little bit can be a step towards another step of joy. 

Blessings friends, 

-CW 

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James 1:2-8

The House Project Continued...

I can't seem to get my posts right these days for the reveal of our final siding project; probably something to do with our slow internet connection and too many pictures. I've decided to leave it to my always crafty and blog savvy sister at 

The Raw House Project blog to give readers the final pics of our residing project. It will go up in a couple of weeks when she does her next "House Crashers" post so be looking for that. 

I'll just wrap it up quick here by reiterating once again that Jared and I were overly satisfied with the work that 

I & D Home Construction did on our home. Ivan and Andy Woodard are grade A guys both personally and in business! We were again and again impressed by their thoughtfulness in completing the project both with detail and craftsmanship as well as being timely. Even though it's taken me a while to put out posts about the progress, the project itself only too just over 3 weeks from start to finish for I & D. 

Here's a sneak peak! 

Before: Log Cabin with deck on back

After! No more deck on back and new Craftsman style exterior including a new front porch. 

All I can say is we are so thankful for this project's completion and all the hands who helped in it! We are truly grateful that we could accomplish this task before winter arrived as it was a structural need-not just cosmetic. :D 

Colors and Completion in View

Sorry for the slack in posts these past weeks. We've been busy bees over here watching our project come together. On the side we were able to have JW's family reunion at the house this past weekend and we also celebrated my Sister's youngest son's 1st birthday. To say the least it has been a good couple of weeks.

Today was a fun day! The kids and I got to spend the day with Jared's Mom and shop for colors at our local Benjamin Moore store for the new doors. We also got to end our day celebrating with her that she has a new job starting in September. This is a blessing indeed and we are so happy for her!

So here's where we are on the project:: 

• Siding is COMPLETE on the house
• Doors are installed 
• Trim is complete
• Garage siding is complete

There are a few things to wrap up...

• Replace and stain porch railings & posts
• Paint exterior doors
• Stain interior wood on new sliding door
• Hang new light fixtures on house and garage
• Hang house numbers on garage 

Here's a preview of the house! I can't wait to show you the full picture but you'll have to wait because I don't want to spoil the reveal! ;D 

Here's the view of the completed trim... I was so happy to see just that going up it looked so beautiful even with the old black paper house wrap (since this photo I & D put up fresh house wrap)! ;D haha

And after the completion of the siding! You can see the porch on the front is still looking sad so that will be in the next post! I couldn't be happier about the way things look around here. It really feels like ours and home...

So Thankful

Twitterpated!

Twitterpated {twit-er-pey-tid}:: Adjective, informal. 

excited or overcome by romantic feelings; smitten. 

Who doesn't get twitterpated by a new door with sunlight splashing in!?

Let the project commence! After a couple of days of looking at our bear bones house the excitement was rising knowing that soon this old girl would get a makeover. ;-) {Every girl loves to be pampered now and again!}

Back Door

Ivan and Andy Woodard of I and D Home Construction have been diligently working since Tuesday. These guys are great. Details don't slip by them and that is something I greatly appreciate. 

So I have yet to pick out colors for our doors... This is where I'm stuck right now. I feel like I have to see it all together before I can make a final decision but something I'm really loving is the Benjamin Moore App Color Capture! It allows you to take a picture of anything and it will generate colors based on the picture you took...cool huh! Needless to say I have a lot of "Favorites" saved but I haven't picked the one yet.

Hope you're having a fantastic week and gearing up for a great weekend. We have a big week coming up full of birthdays and anniversaries in the family so we're ready for some fun! 

Blessings, 
-CW

Read The Bible With Me

40 Day Journey with Dietrich Bonhoeffer-Day 11

Luke 10:17-24

Demolition Preview!

It's finally time to fill you in on the BEFORE and AFTER of phase 1 of residing our log home! WAIT. WHAT? If you're totally confused you can catch up HERE. :-D 

These are the official before pictures of our previous facade-Log Cabin & Garage.  

Time for DEMOLITION! :-D Okay, so it wasn't really anything that I contributed too...All I did was provide moral and nutritional support for our amazing work crews! 

Here are the guys in action:: The Demo took just over a week which is far quicker than we assumed. These guys were monkeys crawling all over the house tearing off those old logs and getting things ready for the new look. Thank you!! 

Read The Bible With Me:: 

Psalm 139:23-24

40 Days with Dietrich Bonhoeffer- Day 8