On being shy, communication, disagreement and the next generation

We're one month into 3's preschool. The anticipation has worn and it's routine now. We are thankful for routines, they keep us steady. I have to be honest this school year has brought with it far too much anxiety on my part that I'm sure is unnecessary. It's in my fleshy nature to want to know how I can control the situation and how I can maximize every opportunity to it's greatest potential. This fall has been an exercise in submitting my control and in general, relinquishing the fact that I cannot make the day any more profitable for my children than what it will be without one key factor-prayer. 

Both of my children are introverted when they are not in their comfort zone. They take a long time to warm up to people. Even family members that they see regularly sometimes feel that the twins don't "like" them because they will not talk to them. I always have to put my best foot forward when going into public situations with my kids and remind myself not to talk for my children or do things for them just to avoid awkward situations or to avoid people thinking that my kids are so rude for not saying a word to them. At some point I have to just get over that and be ok with the fact that my kids are who they are and they will learn to socialize as they watch their dad and I socialize and not be spending our time always apologizing for them; I don't know how healthy that is for their self esteem. The truth is that's not all that they are and that's not the message I want to send to their little consciences. The truth is that they are very friendly little people who are incredibly loving and interested in how life works for others. They have many words to ask these questions and express their love for others when in the comfort of their own homes; somehow we need to help their small 3 year old world expand into sharing those words and that love to those around them more openly when it's appropriate. The mind of a child is like a sponge. It soaks up everything you show them and verbalize to them about themselves. If I tell a child's teacher, grandparent, friend all of the time that he/she is shy, the child begins to believe that about him/herself. If this being "shy" is painted in a light that is negative and as unacceptable then the child soon begins to believe that his/her personality is not likable and is not useful. How sad. I do not want to do that to my kids. 

The power of example is huge for children. Children will listen to our lives far better than they will listen to our words as a parent. So while it will be important for my husband and I to continue to encourage our twins verbally to "use their words" with their friends, teachers, and family, it will be far more important for us to show them how good conversation happens. Even how good disagreement happens. This one is a sticky one for me. I do not do well with disagreement; I never have. I don't like confrontation and I do not like when one person confronts another in my presence. I am not naive enough to believe that disagreement never happens. No, disagreement needs to happen in some cases. In many cases disagreement is the beginning of renewal and renovation of something that was broken. We need disagreement but we need to know how to do it well and we need to know how to display it well for the next generation so that they can know how to solve rather than create more problems. Fighting with cruel words and undercuts or constantly putting yourself or another up on a pedestal and cutting down the person you're in conflict with is not the way. We have to be willing to try to see things from another's view point before we can make real change. Sometimes you are the one who needs to be willing to change and your kids need to be able to see humility. This doesn't mean being a doormat but rather a doorway. Being open to the idea of change and if that change happens to mean that you need to get flexible or be willing to do something differently then we need to be open to the idea. There will be times when we cannot agree and we may need to walk away from it. Not in anger or harshness but just trusting that God will lead you in the way you should go. 

As a nation we are on the verge of a very controversial election with many opinions about how things should be done and who should lead and why. There is the fight for women, the fight for the underprivileged, the fight for the rich, the fight for the layman, the fight for the sexually confused, the fight for the wall the fight against the wall, the fight for Isreal, the fight to stay out of Isreal. With all of these fights and so many more what are we to do? Curl up in a ball and close our eyes until it's over and just accept whatever wave of change happens? I would like to suggest that like all of my anxiety over my 3 year old's preschool and all of their schooling years to come tossing over me in waves, prayer needs to be our place of trust. We may not understand the candidates in this election or the screams of culture swirling around us but we can know that God that made us and made this world. He has a plan and He hasn't given up on that plan. Yes it may not make much sense to us right now but does that matter? We are finite, he is infinite. So let us pray, let us vote, then let us parent this generation of children to know God by following Him with our lives. 

God is great, and greatly to be praised. He can be trusted. Read with me Nahum 1:6-8 

"God is good,

    a hiding place in tough times.

He recognizes and welcomes

    anyone looking for help,"

Not by Flesh But by Spirit Will We Conquer!

All around us are advertisements for a better body, strength comparisons, and health companies. Even in the Christian circle we see people advertising their bodies as a product of strength as if it were God's ultimate gift to us to be in perfect physical condition always. Not surprisingly, these people usually gain the most online followers too; who doesn't want to be in better physical condition? 

My question today is what is the value of physical fitness and what role does it play in our faith after you encounter a physical roadblock? 

Physical Activity and the Brain: Move it or Lose it

Research shows that bodily movement directly impacts brain chemistry. Since your brain is your God given hard drive it makes sense to spend some energy during the day in focused movement. In the Christian walk this focus needs to be kept in check so that it does not become our idol (our ultimate reward). There is purpose behind our focused energies and it should be to train like one preparing ourselves to meet the hardships that life brings. This idea is clearly discussed in Scripture in 1 Corinthians 9: 25-27 

Now Every Athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. they do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither. Therefore, I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary. But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit]. 

I can heartily agree with Scripture's truth and research's observations about movement. 

Portaging in Algonquin Canada with our Sr. High Students

Exploring Yosemite National Park 

Log Slide climb, Grand Marais MI

Prior to 2012 I was living a relatively active and adventurous lifestyle. Brain Surgery and a mini stroke came in 2014 and threw something in my lap I had not expected at all-stillness.  

28 Depth electrodes placed bilaterally to find the trigger area(s) of my Epilepsy. 

Reunited after 3 weeks of being apart! :D Nothing is better than those sweet hugs! 

Life (and twins) move on even when hardship knocks the life out of you. You gotta' keep movin', even if just a little bit at a time. 

Do what you can and let yourself get okay with asking for help when you can't.  This lesson was HARD learned in my case. 

 After the Surgeries and my stroke the breaks were put on my active life in a big way and my physical state was depleted to doing just the basics both for myself and for my kids and husband. My amazing husband and our families were the ones who picked up the slack in caring for our then almost 2 year old twins, groceries, laundry, lawn care, house care, etc. I can see now though that it was my kids, my husband's love for the outdoors, and our small farm that kept me moving towards both physical health and brain health.

Is Physical & Brain Health the Goal of Life?

The scripture we read earlier answers that question quite clearly that physical health is not the goal of life but rather a means to clearly accomplishing our calling; to proclaim the Gospel (The good news of Christ's death and resurrection from the dead as atonement for our sins making propitiation for us) to others and all things pertaining to it. 

When I don't FEEL like I can move on. 

Honestly, when life's hardships knock you down and box you around it is incredibly difficult to just get back up and fight so that you can say you are stronger in the end. Most of the time you would rather curl up and forget the world around you. Many facing life threatening illnesses, disabilities, or mental illness have to fight the physical battle of what their going through and also the emotional battle of grieving the life they expected to be having. Grief is real and it in itself can be debilitating. So what do we do when we're not feeling up to the fight? 

Let God fight with you. 

I like the story in 2 Chronicles 32:1-8 because it's a story about God's people being invaded by the king of Assyria. The people did their part, they were't lazy they got moving and did what they needed to do to protect their city and their walls but at the end of the day it was the emotional battle that was a greater fight. Doubt. The king of Israel, Hezekiah, gathers his people together and encourages them with these words: 

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or dismayed before the king of Assyria and all the horde that is with him, for there are more with us than with him. With him is an arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles." 2 chronicles 32:7 

The thing is we still serve that God today. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He will still fight with his people and I love that in this verse we can clearly see that when we feel like our "flesh" is weak and doesn't add up to much we have a God that is much stronger than flesh because He is the creator of that and everything else. He can and will use even our weakest parts to teach and preach the fruits of His spirit when we are willing to offer up our best and give him room to do whatever He sees fit to do with it. We have to be willing to do our part and even trudge through the trenches of grief with Him. Be assured though that He will not leave you there. 

90 Stairs down to Lake MI in Manistee, MI :D 

My beautiful friend Anna and I half-way through a 4 mile walk along the Manistee River this past week! Praise God I was able to do the whole walk without trouble! woot woot ;D 

Keep going, keep moving, let your light shine! 

-CW